Common Thread
by beeftony
Summary: After Drakken's little mind control experiment, Kim and Shego encounter each other off the clock and have a chat about ethics.


"Grr, I _hate_ grocery stores," Drakken muttered half to himself, ducking forward as he tried to sneak through the automatic double doors that were already aware of his presence, in spite of his desire to keep a low profile. He hoped that the greeter was senile enough to forget seeing his mug shot on the news practically every week.

The woman next to him, however, could care less who saw her as she casually strode inside. She was dressed differently than usual, sporting a forest green hoodie with the zipper undone to reveal a black t-shirt underneath, upon which was emblazoned a green heart. A pair of black jeans completed the ensemble. She was still upset over her normal outfit having been defiled earlier in the week, unlike her employer, whom she doubted even owned any spare lab coats. She wondered why they hadn't gone to a clothing store instead.

Although they probably had a section for that here.

"Then you probably shouldn't have gone to a super center," Shego replied, deftly sidestepping one moronic patron who apparently couldn't distinguish his ass from a hole in the ground, much less entrances and exits. "Middleton Market's just up the street from here. Lot less crowded."

"Yes, which makes it much more difficult to _hide_, Shego. Since you weren't willing to get these supplies _incognito_, we're forced to go out into public."

"I'm not stealing _groceries_," the green sidekick retorted. "And you're lucky I'm here at all."

"How many bonuses does it take for you to get that I'm _sorry_?"

"More than what you've given me so far. Now what are we here for again?"

Drakken held up a list. "Let's see: eggs, milk, bread, frozen pizzas, Coco Moo…."

"You know what, stop. We'll just take things one at a time."

"And by 'take things,' you mean…."

"I am _not_ a shoplifter!" she nearly shouted at him, then lowered her voice when several heads turned in their direction. "If you have enough money to spend on hovercrafts and giant death rays, you can probably come up with a couple hundred bucks."

"I'd have _more_ money to spend on those things if I didn't have to keep the lair stocked with food."

"Yeah, well, I'm not stealing _anything_ for you after what you did with the last thing."

"I _told_ you, I'm—" He stopped after colliding with another cart that had suddenly peeked out from the cereal aisle.

Shego kept on going, however, stopping only when she saw who was behind the cart. By this time Drakken had recovered and was coming around to confront the unfortunate shopper who had dared to cross his path.

"Hey, pal, what's the big..." He stopped short again. "...idea."

"Dr. Drakken?"

"Kim Possible?"

The redheaded teen hero dropped into a defensive pose, stepping in front of the slightly older, similarly red-haired woman accompanying her. "Get back, mom," she said.

"Whoa, whoa," interjected Shego, holding her hands up in the surrender position. "We're not here to fight. Just shopping for groceries."

Kim was not convinced. "And _why_ should I believe you?"

"You mean _aside_ from the fact that I'm not in uniform and Dr. D here is pushing a _cart_?"

"Could be a ruse."

"I have a list," offered Drakken, holding up said list. Kim snatched it away from him and read through the items.

"What's _Coco Moo_?"

"Something you put marshmallows in," answered Shego. "Think hard, it'll come to you."

Kim glared.

"Now, since we're _obviously_ not here to cause any mayhem, why don't you just leave us alone?"

"Actually," Kim's mother announced as she stepped forward. "I do have a few things I've been meaning to say to Drew."

Drakken's face at that moment was the stuff internet abbreviations were made of. "Y-y-you _do_?"

"Yes. Kimmie's return from her last mission was even _more_ unusual than normal."

"Ah—" Shego tried critiquing that statement but gave up halfway through the first syllable. "Fine by me, but where should _I_ be while you two are off talking?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I seriously doubt you want me around your daughter for that long," the green woman explained, eyeing said daughter, who hadn't stopped glowering at her as though she wished Shego would burst into flames.

"It's okay, Shego. From what Kimmie tells me, you weren't at fault in this case." She turned to Drakken. "Although _you_ have a lot of nerve, treating your own employee like that."

"I _told_ her I was _sorry_..." he offered weakly. Shego snickered, finding it hilarious how quickly Drakken's overbearing bravado wilted in the presence of a powerful woman. Kim continued to glare.

"I hope you've been trying your hardest to make it up to her. Even though I'm less than comfortable with the idea of her trying to skewer Kimmie on a weekly basis, I don't like seeing _anybody's_ brain messed with. Not hers, and _especially_ not my daughter's."

"Er, sorry for that too?"

"That's not good enough. Let's go for a walk, Drew." She gripped his arm and started leading him towards the Deli, where a rather large man was slicing ham. Drakken gulped. "I've heard of some _wonderful_ new research relating to the brain and pain recognition which I'm sure you'll find _fascinating_."

"Shego, _help_!"

Shego waved instead. "Have fun with your new friend, Dr. D!" As soon as they were a fair distance away, she turned to Kim, whose glaring had become even _more_ intense.

"Er... nice outfit?"

"Nice _face_."

Shego had to resist the urge to fry the girl where she stood. "Okay, seriously, what is your _problem_?"

"It's hot chocolate, isn't it?"

"Huh? Uh... yeah. Yeah, it is. You gonna answer my question?"

"I _knew_ it was hot chocolate. I figured it out right after I said it. You didn't have to be so rude."

Shego boggled. "Uh, you _do_ realize that's my whole deal, right? And since when do _you_ take anything I say _personally_?"

Kim sighed. "Sorry, it's... this _place_."

"Eh?"

"Smarty Mart. I _hate_ Smarty Mart."

Shego had to stifle a laugh. "_That's_ why you're getting so worked up? You hate _discount shopping_?"

"Yes."

"Oh." She briefly considered what her next words should be. "So then why are you even _here_?"

Kim handed her a list in response. Shego read the items to herself, wondering why the cheerleader had given her this. When she saw the tenth item down, however, she understood, although she found it incredibly hard to believe. Just to make sure, she read it again.

"Your mom's buying you _the pill_?"

The girl nodded.

"But you're…." She paused. "How old are you again?"

"Fifteen."

"Right! So why is your mom putting you on _birth control_?"

"Just in case Drakken decides to go a little further than just dressing me in your outfit next time."

Shego was revolted by the image that entered her head and decided to become its screensaver. After a few vigorous shakes failed to clear it, she decided that the best way to escape from it was to carry on with the conversation.

"Okay, _first_ of all, there isn't going to _be_ a next time. I can make sure of _that_. Second, she's assuming that the big blue goon is anything _but_ completely asexual. He's basically a kid."

"Yeah, but she figures that if anybody ever gets the bright idea to copy him and doesn't share his fear of cooties, then…."

Shego's features tightened with anger, but not towards Kim. "Princess, I will _personally_ lead the rescue effort if that _ever_ becomes the case. Which I can _guarantee_ you it won't."

The girl blinked at her for a few seconds, apparently wondering what had brought on such concern. "Um... thank you."

"Don't mention it."

"So, why _are_ you still with Drakken? I mean, you seemed pretty mad when you chased after him like that. I'd think mind control would be sufficient grounds for quitting."

Shego laughed. "You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Her expression turned more serious. "Actually, I guess it's because I'm trying to stop him from doing something even _worse_."

"Huh?"

"Think about it, Princess. Drakken got into this whole villainy thing because he used to get made fun of in school. He's motivated by some childish version of revenge, which is why he sees you as his nemesis. Somehow he's got it in his head that you're everything he wasn't when he was a kid, and he's bent on making you suffer for that." She briefly considered adding a quip about how Drakken secretly wanted to be loved by the popular girl, but decided that Kim was still too young for such jokes.

"Anyway, Drakken was never in control of anything when he was a kid, which explains why he wanted to make everyone on earth his willing slave. All of his schemes are in some way related to getting back at the people who wronged him."

Kim crossed her arms impatiently. "Is there a point to all this?"

"I'm getting to that. Now, if I were to, say, walk out on Drakken, what do you think is the first thing that's gonna be going through his head?"

"He'll want to get back at you," Kim realized.

"Exactly. Also, you have to consider that he manages to build all these crazy things _despite_ the fact that I'm always telling him it's never going to work. Plus, he has me steal a lot of things that, even though they're dangerous, are a hell of a lot more predictable and easier to handle than the stuff he makes _himself_."

"So then...?" The teen hero started tracing a circle with one hand.

"My point is that without _me_ to steal the more reliable equipment for him and shoot down the ideas that are too insane to even have a _chance_ of working, well... who _knows_ what he'll try on his own?"

Kim appeared to think about that for several moments. "So... you're staying with him because, even though you're mad at what he did to you, you don't want to risk him doing something even _worse_ if you're gone?"

"You remember the Kim-clones?"

The cheerleader groaned. "How could I _forget_?"

"Yeah, that happened after I walked out because of the 'no cloning' clause in my contract."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense, then."

They stood there awkwardly for about thirty seconds before a thought Shego had been having earlier crystallized. "Say, whatever happened to those chips anyway?"

Kim looked away and tapped her index fingers together nervously. "Oh, I... uh, kinda used them to get my brothers to fall asleep."

"_Ha_! Good one, Kimmie!"

The girl's face scrunched up in confusion. "Huh?"

"What? You were expecting something different?"

"Well, sort of... I guess. I mean, you're obviously still mad at Drakken for using mind control on you."

"Yeah, on _me._ I could care less who else he uses it on. Or who _you_ use it on, for that matter."

Kim glared and put a hand on her hips in a classic hero pose. "Well then what was all that stuff about 'stopping him from doing something worse?'"

"Hey, if he actually manages to take over the world, I don't plan on being one of his 'loyal subjects.' Second In Command all the way for me."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. Just thought I might have seen a little decency there. Guess I was mistaken."

"Yeah, well, get used to it Princess. Just 'cause I'm touchy on a few things doesn't make me any less evil. Look, can we talk about something else?"

Kim nodded. "I suppose you want your uniform back."

"Huh? You mean you _kept_ that?"

"Well, after Drakken had you burn my mission clothes, I kind of didn't have anything else to wear."

"Oh. Well, you can keep it. It's not like I don't have spares. Besides, I'm not gonna be wearing my uniform anytime _soon_."

"Drakken's still making it up to you?"

"You have _no_ idea."

"I'm not sure I _want_ to." They were silent for a moment. "You mean I can really keep it?"

"Yeah. It's not like it'd fit me now anyway, since it had to be shrunk down." She smirked. "Think of it as our common thread."

Kim giggled.

"What?"

"That sounds like something _Ron_ would say."

"_Oh_, no! You did _not_ just compare me to your sidekick!"

"I kinda did."

Shego was about to declare war when Drakken and Kim's mother returned from their "walk." She sighed and lowered her hands, only to raise them again when Drakken nearly tackled her.

"Let's go home, Shego," the mad scientist said, clinging to her arm for a single moment before she shoved him off. "I've heard there are some websites that can deliver your groceries to you. Doesn't that sound more convenient?"

"Much," Shego intoned, glancing back at the Possibles. "Yeah, I've had enough of this place too. Let's go."

Drakken finally let go of her arm near the exit, where the greeter was giving them the evil eye. Shego glared back, and the woman relented.

"This is why I hate grocery stores," grumbled Drakken. "Let's never come here again."

"Fine by me. Kimmie's mom tell you anything interesting?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," he answered. "Did you have a nice chat with Possible?"

"Rather not talk about that, either. Although yeah, I kinda did."

"That's good. So then what should we talk about?"

"How about all the stuff you still have to do to make up for what you did?"

"For the _last_ time, Shego, I'm—" his last words were cut off as the double doors rebelled against their invisible master and closed on his foot.

"OW!"


End file.
